What do you do when the world as you know it suddenly changes and not understanding why? Imagine waking one morning and everything is completely silent. You don’t hear the typical sounds of your kids screaming your name asking for breakfast. And you’re thinking to yourself, “finally, some peace and quiet”. But then you quickly realize, the silence isn’t because your kids decided to give you break; it’s due to the fact you’ve lost one of your major senses, your hearing. This became my reality in 2007.
Being faced with this new challenge of adjusting to hearing aids, I became embarrassed, ashamed, depressed, and hated myself for this flaw. Nothing seemed to bring me comfort. I tried so hard to not strain to hear to just pick up on sounds and words that I could. Overtime, there was still little improvement as the straining continued and I would constantly pretend to understand anything that was said to me when I truly did not understand at all.
The hearing aids where just for sound. I constantly found myself asking others to repeat questions or saying I don’t understand. Words sounded so mumbled together. I was using my best judgement all the time to put together what others were asking me to avoid showing my misunderstanding. Would I ever be granted the immediate fix I so longed for?
My world had changed. I had changed. My question always remained, would I be able to hear again? Still no answers.
Uncertainty is like a wild fire, it spreads uncontrollably